Monday 2 September 2013

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

The famous fable about the tortoise and the hare brings out the singular truth that slow and steady wins the race. Haste only make waste, or result in haphazard or shoddy work.
This is especially true for students.Daily regular study delivers good results. Those students who wants to complete their homework quickly just in order to play a match with their friends, finally learn little or nothing. This is true even while attempting an examination paper. Hasty writing of answer can lead to the making of careless mistakes, and will only result in low marks for the students.
If a director wishes to make a film in a hurry, he will have a shoddy product in his hand. But if he plans the script, the locations and the cast and takes rehearsals before going to the sets for shooting,he or she is sure to come out fantastic product.
Success in life depends upon the efforts that we make. These efforts must be steady and sustained. Some people are gifted with great intelligence and others with rare talents.
But they will achieve nothing in life if they do not make steady efforts or work by fits and starts. Those who are impatient and rush through everything in the hope of getting quick results are also in for disappointment. Neither too much hurry nor too much slackness pays in life. A man cannot get anything great overnight. Success demands patient labor, perseverance and firmness of purpose.
Restlessness creates complications and  pushes away one's goal beyond the reach. Over-confidence makes one careless and dilatory. Neither course is desirable. Slow and steady wins the race. It does not mean that we should be slow in our actions.  It simply means that we must discard impatience's, restlessness and hurry and do our work steadfastly.
If we choose our goal wisely and then proceed to achieve it with slow, gradual but determined efforts, we are bound to succeed. We must neither be lazy nor careless. We must neither lose time nor go on postponing what we must start: forthwith. Firm determination and constant efforts are necessary to achieve success in life.


Relationships with Parents

The most intense of your all relationships is the relationship with your parents because it’s the relation you share since your childhood. But it does happen that as you grow your relationship with your parents starts changing. Previously there definitely used to be some occasional blow-ups between you and your parents; but you also would resolve them successfully.
Now as the time has passed, your relation also has changed; which is really not a good sign to foster vigor of your relationship. Also probably your parents face difficulty to adapt in the changing relationship.
Respect: Respecting your parents is the prime element to yield a sturdy relationship with them. It is in fact a foundation for a great relationship with them. Respecting your parents enable you to generate a tangible relation with them but of course don’t abuse them in any condition. Respect them, their feelings (even sometimes difficult) and the actions they take for you.
Understand: You have grown up and so it is but obvious for you to change but what about your parents? They are still the same and trying their best to get accustomed to your changed behavior pattern. But you sometime don’t understand these things around you and misunderstand your parents care as their interference. Understanding their affection and positioning yourself in the right way will indeed create an active and efficient relationship. So, do allow a flower of understanding bloom and spread its fragrance into your relationship.
Be Accommodating- Your parents always dream about your bright future and for this they tend to guide you in certain things and also sometimes impose some set of laws on you. But instead of getting vexed the least you can do is to listen to them carefully and try to think from their viewpoint. In short, listen to the meaning of their words and not the words only. Be accommodating and give them time and space to have a room for them and their thinking too.
It is a fact that there is bad relationship between some parents and their children because of the mishandling of the children by the parents.
It is wise for the parents to be loving and kind towards their children and at the same time tell them strictly what they should not do. Love and kindness towards their children are the natural instincts of parents. But they should not spoil their children by showing them excessive love.
The relationship between the parents and their children is unique. Though the parents may seem to be harsh with their children just because they want their children to grow disciplined there is a strong bond of love between them.

 A beautiful Quote defines the children's rights and parents responsibility. " The finest inheritance you can give to a child is to allow it to make its own way, completely on its own feet." - Isadora Duncan Quotes.

Bhagvad Gita Quotes

Reshape yourself through the power of your will... 
Those who have conquered themselves...live in peace, alike in cold and heat, pleasure and pain, praise and blame...To such people a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same...Because they are impartial, they rise to great heights.

BE GENDER NEUTRAL. Some ways to teach your children how to respect elders and be gender neutrals

We need to remember that today’s children are tomorrow’s adults, and a good grounding will groom them as responsible youth. In the wake of the recent extreme sexual harassment cases against women, such as rape, it becomes more important to sensitize your child towards gender-based atrocities and develop a mindset that will not favor such acts. Gender sensitization among kids can be consciously practiced to bring them up in a gender-neutral environment.“Gender is a very important facet of our identity. It should be tackled in a sensitive manner and given attention as it is essential in building healthy relationships,” says Dr. Preeti Singh Senior Consultant Clinical Psychologist & Psychotherapist, Paras Hospitals.

As the child grows, she starts to associate herself with a certain set of things. The home environment will influence her and she will imbibe the thought processes of her immediate family. An environment that fosters respect for women will go a long way.

Children, who witness their parents differentiating between them and a sibling of different sex, hold onto the memory for long. They might also begin to behave in similar ways believing it is right.  So it important for kids to be have gender neutral influences.   “The feedback and encouragement that children receive from their teachers and parents also educate them about the acceptability of their behaviors,” says Dr Samir Parikh, Director, Mental Health & Behavioral Science, Fortis Healthcare in Mumbai.

Encourage your child to be compassionate, irrespective of the gender.
Stereotypical Role models:
“Families are often based on very strong gender roles. By observing the varied roles played by parents, and identifying with the same sex parent, children come to understand gender characteristics, gender roles and gendered expectations. In other words, what it means to be a boy or a girl,” Dr. Parikh explains.

Parents also often distribute tasks according to gender. This should be avoided. Why should only boys run errands or bring out the garbage, whereas a girl is told to clean the kitchen table or tidy up the room.

Dr Singh says, “On the basis of early experiences one develops gender schemes which are cognitive structures used to organize information about male and female genders. Researchers have established that gender roles are influenced by parents. Expectations from children are called differential expectations and the rewards or encouragements are referred as differential reinforcement. Children identify and imitate their parents.”

They grow believing that this is how society works. But you, as parents, should be supportive enough to break these stereotypes.
Media influences:
All media, that the child is exposed to, plays an important role in shaping his/her outlook. Books, television shows and cartoons mould the child’s outlook and expectations. Most media influences are stereotypical which cast an impression on young minds. There are no rules that claim that for boys must read Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew is reserved for girls. These are just social norms followed for generations. Do not judge your child based on pre-conceived notions and social stigmas. Make her understand that it’s ok to be different and pursue dreams that do not match the description of her favourite comic or movie. Being a boy or girl has nothing to do with what she must do and what she can do.

Keep an eye on what your child chooses to watch on television. Objectification of women on screen is a bad influence on your little one. Items numbers, vulgar songs and obscene shows will create a bad image on their minds. There will be scenarios when you won’t be able constantly monitor, so it is best to instil in them as sense of respect for the opposite sex.
Expressing Emotions:
Dr. Anmol Annadate, paediatrician and child psychologist, emphasises that these gender biases can cause emotional weakness in children. “Boys who cry are labelled as sissies, whereas a girl who indulges in tough activities will be referred to as a tom boy; this differentiation does not allow a child to express his real emotions.”

Power, strength, domination, rage et al, are qualities that are very male centric whereas love, nurture, warmth, care and submissiveness are attributed to a girl. These build associations in the minds of little kids and it can be so extreme that they can me led to believe that violent acts like rape and domination are justified. It is important to establish positive role models for your children. Encourage girls to be independent and avoid learned helplessness. Boys should be taught to be gentle and caring. This will help them treat women with respect and not as objects of gratification.
School:
Your little ones will now enter a new world where they will meet more minds like theirs. It is important that they are in the right company. Teachers are often good role models but if teachers differentiate between their students, it could be harmful for the kid’s morale.  Kids should be encouraged to play all kind of sports, irrespective of their gender. Who says boys can’t dance and girls can’t play football! Schools play an important role in establishing gender sensitivity, especially as all schools are now becoming co-ed educational centres.

Gender equality should be inculcated in the day-to-day practices of schools and moral traditions should be followed. Modified poems and stories that break stereotypes is also a solution that many schools and educational institutes have begun to adopt.

Dr. Gorav Gupta, Psychiatrist, Tulasi healthcare, says, “Kids need to be educated about sexual relationships. It is important that they understand that intimacy is not the only form of emotion or acceptance.”
Peers:

As children grow older, their friends begin to influence them. What they wear, watch and speak comes from varied sources. So if your daughter has only girlfriends she is bound to be all girly. Knowing the opposite sex is important to get a better perspective on communication and grasping individual capabilities. Encouraging friendships between both sexes is a good idea. It gives them a sense of equality when they realise that they are no different from the opposite sex.

“Incidences like rape are not gender-specific but person-specific. This is one thing that children need to be taught so that they don’t generalise situations. The attitude and thinking of a person makes a difference” says, Dr. Gupta.
Awareness:

An all-round approach is important. One should understand that girls need to be made self sufficient but not anti-men. Tolerance towards the opposite sex is important, after all not all men are criminals and not all women are clingy.

Children should be taught to freely voice their opinions and share their fears, so that they don’t hide their true feelings. Discussing incidences and latest news updates will open their minds to the outer world and break their bubble, making them more aware of their surroundings. The understanding that the physical and emotional changes in their bodies are a good thing is important. They should be proud of their bodies and not ashamed.

“Since we do not have formal sex education in our schools as yet, it is vital that parents talk to their children about incidences like rape and make them aware of what is inappropriate behaviour,” adds Dr. Gupta. Bad experiences shouldn’t guide the future:

Dr. Gupta concludes, “There are times when children draw blanket judgments on the basis of past experiences and influences. This may affect their present and future relationships. Sometimes children, who have been sexually abused or have friends who have been abuse victims, grow into individuals with personality problems. This could make negative individuals who have wrong impressions giving rise to more incidences of rape.”


Keep a check on your child’s movement and try to talk freely. Understand her problems and help her overcome her fears. Children are very sensitive to your reactions and you should keep a check on yourself while responding to your child’s sex and gender related queries. 

Yourself being a human being, teach your siblings to be a good human being rather than being a good women or a good men.

Thought of the day

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” 
― Beverly Sills
 http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/hard-work

Mythology & Superstitions

  Is mythology merely superstition? Is it to be discarded in this world of scientific advancement, and retained only as stories meant for animation films for children? Sometimes it seems hard to justify a mythology that apparently just breed superstition, blind beliefs and senseless rituals – stories that seem to take the most erratic and irrational ideas and give them divine ratification. Since early times many scholars have debunked mythology; yet, mythology has survived right down to our practical, even rationalist, hard-headed era. Could there be an explanation for this? 
    One explanation for mythology is given by 
allegorical interpretations. Take for example the myth of not looking at the moon on Ganesh Chaturthi night. We are told that if you look at the moon on this particular night, you will be cursed. The threatened dire consequences of this harmless act have influenced tens of thousands of believers to not look at the guiltless moon for centuries! What explanation can there be for this? Those who seek an explanation are told a story. Once when Lord Ganesha was on his vehicle, the rat, the moon looked down on this ludicrous sight and laughed. The rotund Ganesha on the tiny rat apparently tickled the moon’s funny bone! Ganesha however was not amused. It is said he cursed the moon – “If anyone looks at you on this day, he will be doomed!” 
    If we go beyond the apparent absurdity of this story one may find a deep allegorical significance. Ganesha represents a person of enlightenment. The moon represents the mind. There always seems to have been this connection drawn between the moon and the mind; the moon is said to affect the mind. The rotund Ganesha riding the tiny rat is repre
sentative of the person of enlightenment using his limited equipments, his body-mindintellect to convey the Infinite. 
    The infinite cannot be captured in the finite. The enlightened person cannot completely tell us the truths he has experienced. Hence his attempts may appear ludicrous to the ignorant. But it behoves us well not to discard his words randomly. Any society or individual who will not listen to wise, enlightened souls will be doomed. They will deprive themselves of the wisdom of the masters and will suffer the stresses and strains, the agitations of life. This is the teaching and warning given by this story about Ganesha and his ‘curse’. 
    Every ancient civilisation had its own my
thology. The Greeks and Romans have a well-documented mythology too. They too apparently used their mythology similarly. Take for example the story of Kronos. The story goes that Kronos was a most unnatural father. Whenever his children were born he would swallow them. This seems horrendous until one understands that Kronos represents time. Time is the father that destroys all his offsprings. 
    Why such abstruse stories to explain philosophical ideas? It is a way of communicating subtle truths to the uneducated. Besides, it is valuable for intellectuals, too, for to them, these stories serve as a tool for reflection. Only through reflection can knowledge dawn. The startling and bizarre stories make one wonder what they could possibly mean. This forces one to think and with thinking, wisdom dawns. 
    The trouble is that even the most bizarre stories are taken at face value and believed. And that is a fertile ground for the creation of superstitions. The sublime message is lost and irrationality is developed. The myths contain a message and the message is lost in the labyrinth of ‘beliefs’.